Merriman. Yes, sir. [Goes back into the house.]

Algernon. What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been
called back to town at all.

Jack. Yes, you have.

Algernon. I haven't heard any one call me.

Jack. Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.

Algernon. My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my
pleasures in the smallest degree.

Jack. I can quite understand that.

Algernon. Well, Cecily is a darling.

Jack. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don't like
it.

Algernon. Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly
ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It is
perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who is actually
staying for a whole week with you in your house as a guest. I call
it grotesque.

Jack. You are certainly not staying with me for a whole week as a
guest or anything else. You have got to leave . . . by the four-
five train.