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The Harlequinade - An Excursion by Harley Granville-Barker;Dion Clayton Calthrop
page 4 of 69 (05%)
shopman said, when nothing seemed to do. Yes; and a very good blue that
is--by lamplight.

On the other side of the proscenium, ensconced (and the word was made
to express just this)--ensconced in a porter's chair is Uncle Edward.
It is an old porter's chair, for they seem not to make them nowadays.
This one indeed was given to Uncle Edward by a club that had no further
use for it, having cured the draughts in its front hall by puttin
a patent door that the fat members stuck in and that tried to cut the
thin members in half. A cross between a sentry-box and a cradle stuck
on end it is, and very, very suitable to sit upright in and pretend
you're not asleep. Years of that sitting in by porters, and of leaning
against by under-porters and messengers who keep you awake with their
chatter, and of daily dusting and rubbing, have made its leather
uniform softly glow and its brass buttons shine till it looks a
comfortable piece of furniture indeed. Now the side of a stage is
draughty at the best of times, and Uncle Edward, says he, is by no
means so young as he was (a real live joke to him that outworn phrase
is), and how he managed before he had it he really cannot think!

However early you come to the performance you always find him there.
For minutes and minutes you may only be aware of very shiny square-toed
boots and black-trousered legs and a newspaper that hides the
of him. On most days it will be "The Times", on Wednesday it may be
"Punch", and on Saturdays "The Spectator." "That is a gentleman's
reading," he says. When the paper is lowered, as he turns a page, you
behold one of those oldish gentlemen with a rather pleasant bad temper
who really only mean to demand by it that young people shall pay them
the compliment of "getting round" them. As the time of the performance
draws near he is apt, at each lowering of the paper, to count you up as
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