brought me no peace, yet brought me something for which it seemed worth
while even to lose my peace. But I did not know then, and do not yet know
what the loss of peace actually means. I only know that it must be
something far more terrible than anything I have ever known. I remained
so far true to my uncle, however, that not even for what the face seemed
to promise me, would I have consented to cause him trouble. For what I
saw in the face, I would do anything, I thought, except that.

I went to him at the usual hour, determined that nothing should distract
me from my work--that he should perceive no difference in me. I was not
at the moment awake to the fact that here again were love and deception
hand in hand. But another love than mine was there: my uncle loved me
immeasurably more than I yet loved that heavenly vision. True love is
keen-sighted as the eagle, and my uncle's love was love true, therefore
he saw what I sought to hide. It is only the shadow of love, generally a
grotesque, ugly thing, like so many other shadows, that is blind either
to the troubles or the faults of the shadow it seems to love. The moment
our eyes met, I saw that he saw something in mine that was not there when
last we parted. But he said nothing, and we sat down to our lessons.
Every now and then as they proceeded, however, I felt rather than saw his
eyes rest on me for a moment, questioning. I had never known them rest on
me so before. Plainly he was aware of some change; and could there be
anything different in the relation of two who so long had loved each
other, without something being less well and good than before? Nor was it
indeed wonderful he should see a difference; for, with all the might of
my resolve to do even better than usual, I would now and then find myself
unconscious of what either of us had last been saying. The face had come
yet again, and driven everything from its presence! I grew angry--not
with the youth, but with his face, for appearing so often when I did not
invite it. Once I caught myself on the verge of crying out, "Can't you