heart indulged. We did board with him, and finally he fleeced us; but
when I spoke of it to my little wife, she only shrugged her shoulders,
and said she did not like to be unkind to her 'poor papa.' So poor papa
made away with our little stock of money in no time; and as I felt that
it was now becoming necessary to look about for something, I ran up to
London, and tried to get a situation as a clerk in a merchant's office,
or as accountant, or book-keeper, or something of that kind. But I
suppose there was the stamp of a heavy dragoon about me, for do what I
would I couldn't get anybody to believe in my capacity; and tired out,
and down-hearted, I returned to my darling, to find her nursing a son
and heir to his father's poverty. Poor little girl, she was very
low-spirited; and when I told her that my London expedition had failed,
she fairly broke down, and burst in to a storm of sobs and lamentations,
telling me that I ought not to have married her if I could give her
nothing but poverty and misery; and that I had done her a cruel wrong in
making her my wife. By heaven! Miss Morley, her tears and reproaches
drove me almost mad; and I flew into a rage with her, myself, her
father, the world, and everybody in it, and then rail out of the house.
I walked about the streets all that day, half out of my mind, and with a
strong inclination to throw myself into the sea, so as to leave my poor
girl free to make a better match. 'If I drown myself, her father must
support her,' I thought; 'the old hypocrite could never refuse her a
shelter; but while I live she has no claim on him.' I went down to a
rickety old wooden pier, meaning to wait there till it was dark, and
then drop quietly over the end of it into the water; but while I sat
there smoking my pipe, and staring vacantly at the sea-gulls, two men
came down, and one of them began to talk of the Australian
gold-diggings, and the great things that were to be done there. It
appeared that he was going to sail in a day or two, and he was trying to
persuade his companion to join him in the expedition.