Good manners and good morals alike follow the Golden Rule: "Whatsoever
ye would that others should do to you, do ye even so to them." Egotism
and selfishness are the bane of both. True politeness consists in
considering the pleasure of others as a thing in itself, without regard
to your own advantage. If an attention is paid, a gift given, a service
rendered, these should be done solely for the recipient's happiness,
not with a view to his making a return in kind, possibly with interest.
It is good manners to call on people who will be pleased to see you;
not on those whom you wish to see, but to whom you and your affairs are
of no concern. A first visit to a newcomer in town is right and proper.
A stranger is presumed to be desirous of making friends, but the first
call ought to indicate whether or not he and you have that community of
interest which is essential to friendship. If you are the newcomer, it
is your duty to show your appreciation of the attention by returning
first calls, but you should so act that your hosts will feel free to
continue the acquaintance if it will be agreeable to them, or
discontinue it if it is not. Indeed, in every situation you should give
the other party this choice. Friendship is one of the most valuable
forms of social energy, and it should carefully be conserved. Yet more
than any other form it is wasted, because of a false regard for social
conventions. At how many calls are both parties bored! How many
persons--women in particular, who have not the man's freedom in
selecting associates--continue in the treadmill round of an uncongenial
social circle! To escape from this may require the special exercise of
will, and the incurring of criticism, but these ought to be assumed.
However, in most cases, a woman may gradually escape from the
distasteful circle and form new and more congenial friends without
remark.

After the brightening effects on mind and spirits of social intercourse