Eleanor by Mrs. Humphry Ward
page 92 of 565 (16%)
page 92 of 565 (16%)
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Already, in this Catholic country, she had been jarred and repelled on all sides. Yet she found herself living with two people for whom Catholicism was not indeed a personal faith--she could not think of that side of it without indignation--but a thing to be passionately admired and praised, like art, or music, or scenery. You might believe nothing, and yet write pages and pages in glorification of the Pope and the Mass, and in contempt of everything else!--in excuse too of every kind of tyranny so long as it served the Papacy and 'the Church.' She leaned out to the sunset, remembering sentence after sentence from the talk on the terrace--hating or combating them all. Yet all the time a new excitement invaded her. For the man who had spoken thus was, in a sense, not a mere stranger to her. Somewhere in his being must be the capacity for those thoughts and feelings that had touched her so deeply in his book--for that magical insight and sweetness-- Ah!--perhaps she had not understood his book--no more than she understood him now. The sense of her own ignorance oppressed her--and of all that _might_ be said, with regard apparently to anything whatever. Was there nothing quite true--quite certain--in the world? So the girl's intense and simple nature entered like all its fellows, upon the old inevitable struggle. As she stood there, with locked hands and flushed cheeks, conscious through every vein of the inrush and shock of new perceptions, new comparisons, she was like a ship that leaves the harbour for the open, and feels for the first time on all her timbers the strain of the unplumbed sea. |
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