hearing her exclaim between whiles, 'I know there are only fourteen
doors in the house, I know it was Mr. Jenkins, I know he had a blue
coat on, and I would say it as positively as I do now, if they were
the last words I had to speak!'

If the contradictory couple are blessed with children, they are not
the less contradictory on that account. Master James and Miss
Charlotte present themselves after dinner, and being in perfect
good humour, and finding their parents in the same amiable state,
augur from these appearances half a glass of wine a-piece and other
extraordinary indulgences. But unfortunately Master James, growing
talkative upon such prospects, asks his mamma how tall Mrs. Parsons
is, and whether she is not six feet high; to which his mamma
replies, 'Yes, she should think she was, for Mrs. Parsons is a very
tall lady indeed; quite a giantess.' 'For Heaven's sake,
Charlotte,' cries her husband, 'do not tell the child such
preposterous nonsense. Six feet high!' 'Well,' replies the lady,
'surely I may be permitted to have an opinion; my opinion is, that
she is six feet high--at least six feet.' 'Now you know,
Charlotte,' retorts the gentleman sternly, 'that that is NOT your
opinion--that you have no such idea--and that you only say this for
the sake of contradiction.' 'You are exceedingly polite,' his wife
replies; 'to be wrong about such a paltry question as anybody's
height, would be no great crime; but I say again, that I believe
Mrs. Parsons to be six feet--more than six feet; nay, I believe you
know her to be full six feet, and only say she is not, because I
say she is.' This taunt disposes the gentleman to become violent,
but he cheeks himself, and is content to mutter, in a haughty tone,
'Six feet--ha! ha! Mrs. Parsons six feet!' and the lady answers,
'Yes, six feet. I am sure I am glad you are amused, and I'll say