saw--that you were in love with Madame de Servieres. I told you how hurt
I was, how grieved I was. What did you reply? Just what every man
replies when he no longer loves the woman who reproaches him. You
shrugged your shoulders, smiled impatiently, told me I was mad, and then
expounded to me--I must admit, in a most skillful manner--those grand
principles of freedom in love that are adopted by every husband who
deceives his wife and thinks she will not deceive him. You gave me to
understand that marriage is not a bond, but simply an association of
mutual interests, a social rather than a moral alliance; that it does
not demand friendship or affection between married couples, provided
there be no scandal. You did not absolutely confess the existence of
your mistresses, but you pleaded extenuating circumstances. You were
very sarcastic upon the subject of those poor, silly women who object to
their husbands being gallant toward other women, since, according to
you, such gallantry is one of the laws of the polished society to which
you belong. You laughed at the foolish man who does not dare to pay
compliments to a woman in the presence of his own wife, and ridiculed
the gloomy look of a wife whose eyes follow her husband into every
corner, imagining that because the poor man disappears into an adjoining
room he is at the feet of a rival. All this was very airy, funny, and
disagreeable, wrapped up in compliments and spiced with cynicism--sweet
and bitter at the same time, and calculated to banish from the heart all
love for a smooth, false, and well-bred man who could talk in such a
manner. I understood, I wept, I suffered, and then I shut my door upon
you. You made no objection; you judged me better than you thought; and
since then we have lived completely separate lives. Such has been the
case for the past two years, two long years and more, which certainly
have not seemed more than six months to you. We go into society as
usual, we return from society as usual, and we each enter our own temple
of life. The situation was established by you in consequence of your