preparing gentlemen that way without their own consent. A hundred
times, at least, he looked into the pot where they were boiling the
philosopher's stone down to the proper consistency, and wondered
whether it was nearly done. "When it is," thinks Tom, "I'll send
out for six-penn'orth of sprats, and turn 'em into gold fish for a
first experiment." Besides which, he made up his mind, gentlemen,
to have a country-house and a park; and to plant a bit of it with a
double row of gas-lamps a mile long, and go out every night with a
French-polished mahogany ladder, and two servants in livery behind
him, to light 'em for his own pleasure.

'At length and at last, the old gentleman's legs appeared upon the
steps leading through the roof, and he came slowly down: bringing
along with him, the gifted Mooney. This Mooney, gentlemen, was
even more scientific in appearance than his friend; and had, as Tom
often declared upon his word and honour, the dirtiest face we can
possibly know of, in this imperfect state of existence.

'Gentlemen, you are all aware that if a scientific man isn't absent
in his mind, he's of no good at all. Mr. Mooney was so absent,
that when the old gentleman said to him, "Shake hands with Mr.
Grig," he put out his leg. "Here's a mind, Mr. Grig!" cries the
old gentleman in a rapture. "Here's philosophy! Here's
rumination! Don't disturb him," he says, "for this is amazing!"

'Tom had no wish to disturb him, having nothing particular to say;
but he was so uncommonly amazing, that the old gentleman got
impatient, and determined to give him an electric shock to bring
him to - "for you must know, Mr. Grig," he says, "that we always
keep a strongly charged battery, ready for that purpose." These