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The Bab Ballads by Sir W. S. (William Schwenck) Gilbert
page 47 of 143 (32%)
I formed them solely with a view
To help him to a sound investment).

Their objects were--their only cares--
To justify their Boards in showing
A handsome dividend on shares
And keep their good promoter going.

But no--the lout sticks to his brass,
Though shares at par I freely proffer:
Yet--will it be believed?--the ass
Declines, with thanks, my well-meant offer!

He adds, with bumpkin's stolid grin
(A weakly intellect denoting),
He'd rather not invest it in
A company of my promoting!

"You have two hundred 'thou' or more,"
Said I. "You'll waste it, lose it, lend it;
Come, take my furnished second floor,
I'll gladly show you how to spend it."

But will it be believed that he,
With grin upon his face of poppy,
Declined my aid, while thanking me
For what he called my "philanthroppy"?

Some blind, suspicious fools rejoice
In doubting friends who wouldn't harm them;
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