That I, dear sir, may fill again
The Theatre Royal Drury Lane:
This very night I have to fight--
So prithee do not linger."

"I don't strap fingers up for doles,"
Replied the haughty surgeon;
"To use your cant, I don't play roles
Utility that verge on.
First amputation--nothing less--
That is my line of business:
We surgeon nobs despise all jobs
Utility that verge on

"When in your hip there lurks disease"
(So dreamt this lively dreamer),
"Or devastating caries
In humerus or femur,
If you can pay a handsome fee,
Oh, then you may remember me--
With joy elate I'll amputate
Your humerus or femur."

The disconcerted actor ceased
The haughty leech to pester,
But when the wound in size increased,
And then began to fester,
He sought a learned Counsel's lair,
And told that Counsel, then and there,
How COBB'S neglect of his defect