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More Bab Ballads by Sir W. S. (William Schwenck) Gilbert
page 30 of 149 (20%)
disgrace.

She was fond of going to church services four times every Sunday, and,
four or five times in the week, and never seemed to pall of them,
So he hunted out all the churches within a convenient distance that had
services at different hours, so to speak;
And when he had married her he positively insisted upon their going to
all of them,
So they contrived to do about twelve churches every Sunday, and, if
they had luck, from twenty-two to twenty-three in the course of the
week.

She was fond of dropping his sovereigns ostentatiously into the plate,
and she liked to see them stand out rather conspicuously against the
commonplace half-crowns and shillings,
So he took her to all the charity sermons, and if by any extraordinary
chance there wasn't a charity sermon anywhere, he would drop a couple
of sovereigns (one for him and one for her) into the poor-box at the
door;
And as he always deducted the sums thus given in charity from the
housekeeping money, and the money he allowed her for her bonnets and
frillings,
She soon began to find that even charity, if you allow it to interfere
with your personal luxuries, becomes an intolerable bore.

On Sundays she was always melancholy and anything but good society,
For that day in her household was a day of sighings and sobbings and
wringing of hands and shaking of heads:
She wouldn't hear of a button being sewn on a glove, because it was a
work neither of necessity nor of piety,
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