Helbeck of Bannisdale — Volume II by Mrs. Humphry Ward
page 28 of 279 (10%)
page 28 of 279 (10%)
|
behind them. Her eyes topped them. The whole lower world, the roofs of
the station, the railway line, the sands beyond, lay clear before her in the moon. Then her nerve gave way. She laid her head against the stones of the engine-house and sobbed. All her self-command, her cool clearness, was gone. The shock of disappointment, the terrors of this sudden loneliness, the nightmare of her stumbling flight coming upon a nature already shaken, and powers already lowered, had worked with miserable effect. She felt degraded by her own fears. But the one fear at the root of all, that included and generated the rest, held her in so crippling, so torturing a vice, that do what she would, she could not fight herself--could only weep--and weep. And yet supposing she had walked over the sands with her cousin, would anybody have thought so ill of her--would Hubert himself have dared to offer her any disrespect? Then again, why not go to the inn? Could she not easily have found a woman on whom to throw herself, who would have befriended her? Or why not have tried to get a carriage? Fifteen miles to Marsland--eighteen to Bannisdale. Even in this small place, and at midnight, the promise of money enough would probably have found her a fly and a driver. But these thoughts only rose to be shuddered away. All her rational being was for the moment clouded. The presence of her cousin had suddenly aroused in her so strong a disgust, so hot a misery, that flight from him was all she thought of. On the sands, at the inn, in a carriage, he would |
|