country, out as far as Loontown, and Zoar. It has come straight back to
me by them that wouldn't lie. But it hain't made me vain.

But I never cooked a thing that suited Lodema, not a single thing. Most
of my vittles wuz too fresh, and then if I braced up and salted 'em
extra so as to be sure to please her, why then they wuz briny, and hurt
her mouth.

Why, if you'll believe it, I give her a shawl, made her a present of it;
it had even checks black and white, jest as many threads in the black
stripes as there wuz in the white, for I counted 'em.

And she told me, after she had looked it all over and said it wuz kinder
thin and slazy, and checkered shawls had gone out of fashion, and the
black looked some as if it would fade with washin', and the white wuzn't
over clear, and the colors wuzn't no ways becomin' to her complexion,
and etcetery, etcetery.

"But," sez she, after she had got all through with the rest of her
complaints--"if the white stripes wuz where the black wuz, and the black
where the white wuz, she should like it quite well." And there it wuz,
even check, two and two. Wall, that wuz a sample of her doin's. If
anybody had a Roman nose she wanted a Greecy one.

[Illustration: "IF THE WHITE STRIPES WUZ WHERE THE BLACK WUZ."]

And if the nose wuz Greece, why then she wanted Rome.

Why, Josiah sez to me along about the third week, he said (to ourselves,
in private), "that if Lodema went to Heaven she would be dissatisfied