and I can tell you that nothing is more unlike a novel than real life. Of
all lives, mine has been the least romantic. No love in it, but a great
deal of hate. I was a rich heiress--I had, I believe, a hundred thousand
pounds, or more, and twice as many caprices: I was handsome and witty--or,
to speak with that kind of circumlocution which is called humility, the
world, the partial world, thought me a beauty and a bel-esprit. Having
told you my fortune, need I add, that I, or it, had lovers in
abundance--of all sorts and degrees--not to reckon those, it may be
presumed, who died of concealed passions for me? I had sixteen
declarations and proposals in form; then what in the name of wonder, or of
common sense--which by-the-bye is the greatest of wonders--what, in the
name of common sense, made me marry Lord Delacour? Why, my dear, you--no,
not _you_, but any girl who is not used to have a parcel of admirers,
would think it the easiest thing in the world to make her choice; but let
her judge by what she feels when a dexterous mercer or linen-draper
produces pretty thing after pretty thing--and this is so becoming, and
this will wear for ever, as he swears; but then that's so
fashionable;--the novice stands in a charming perplexity, and after
examining, and doubting, and tossing over half the goods in the shop, it's
ten to one, when it begins to get late, the young lady, in a hurry,
pitches upon the very ugliest and worst thing that she has seen. Just so
it was with me and my lovers, and just so--

'Sad was the hour, and luckless was the day,'

I pitched upon Viscount Delacour for my lord and judge. He had just at
that time lost at Newmarket more than he was worth in every sense of the
word; and my fortune was the most convenient thing in the world to a man
in his condition. Lozenges are of sovereign use in some complaints. The
heiress lozenge is a specific in some consumptions. You are surprised