Lady Delacour with such a man as this, though her lord may, and will; for
nothing is too absurd for him to believe. Half my theory proved just; that
is saying a great deal for any theory. My lord swallowed the remedy that I
had prepared for him with an avidity and a bonhommie which it did me good
to behold; my remedy operated beyond my most sanguine expectations. The
poor man was cured of his obstinacy, and became stark mad with jealousy.
Then indeed I had some hopes of him; for a madman can be managed, a fool
cannot. In a month's time I made him quite docile. With a face longer than
the weeping philosopher's, he came to me one morning, and assured me, 'he
would do every thing I pleased, provided I would consult my own honour and
his, and give up Colonel Lawless.'

"'Give up!'--I could hardly forbear laughing at the expression. I replied,
'that as long as my lord treated me with becoming respect, I had never in
thought or deed given him just cause of complaint; but that I was not a
woman to be insulted, or to be kept, as I had hitherto been, in
leading-strings by a husband.' My lord, flattered as I meant he should be
with the idea that it was possible he should be suspected of keeping a
wife in leading-strings, fell to making protestations--'He hoped his
future conduct would prove,' &c. Upon this hint, I gave the reins to my
imagination, and full drive I went into a fresh career of extravagance: if
I were checked, it was _an insult_, and I began directly to talk of
_leading-strings_. This ridiculous game I played successfully enough for
some time, till at length, though naturally rather slow at calculation, he
actually discovered, that if we lived at the rate of twenty thousand
a-year, and had only ten thousand a-year to spend, we should in due time
have nothing left. This notable discovery he communicated to me one
morning, after a long preamble. When he had finished prosing, I agreed
that it was demonstrably just that he should retrench _his_ expenses; but
that it was equally unjust and impossible that I could make any