and flourished; so that at three years old, when it was brought back to
me, I could scarcely believe the chubby little thing was my own child. The
same reasons which convinced me I ought not to nurse my own child,
determined me, _a plus forte raison_, not to undertake its education. Lord
Delacour could not bear the child, because it was not a boy. The girl was
put under the care of a governess, who plagued my heart out with her airs
and tracasseries for three or four years; at the end of which time, as she
turned out to be Lord Delacour's mistress in form, I was obliged--in
form--to beg she would leave my house: and I put her pupil into better
hands, I hope, at a celebrated academy for young ladies. There she will,
at any rate, be better instructed than she could be at home. I beg your
pardon, my dear, for this digression on nursing and schooling; but I
wanted only to explain to you why it was that, when I was weary of the
business, I still went on in a course of dissipation. You see I had
nothing at home, either in the shape of husband or children, to engage my
affections. I believe it was this 'aching void' in my heart which made me,
after looking abroad some time for a bosom friend, take such a prodigious
fancy to Mrs. Freke. She was just then coming into fashion; she struck me,
the first time I met her, as being downright ugly; but there was a wild
oddity in her countenance which made one stare at her, and she was
delighted to be stared at, especially by me; so we were mutually agreeable
to each other--I as starer, and she as staree. Harriot Freke had, without
comparison, more assurance than any man or woman I ever saw; she was
downright brass, but of the finest kind--Corinthian brass. She was one of
the first who brought what I call _harum scarum_ manners into fashion. I
told you that she had assurance--_impudence_ I should have called it, for
no other word is strong enough. Such things as I have heard Harriot Freke
say!---You will not believe it--but her conversation at first absolutely
made me, like an old-fashioned fool, wish I had a fan to play with. But,
to my astonishment, all this _took_ surprisingly with a set of fashionable