sex, had not acquired the decency of the other. 'Who is to be Lady
Delacour's second husband?' cried she; 'you'll not offend any of the
present company by naming the man.' 'Her second husband I cannot name,'
replied the oracle, 'but let her beware of a Lawless lover.' Mrs. Freke
and Colonel Lawless, encouraged by her, triumphed over me without mercy--I
may say, without shame! Well, my dear, I am in a hurry to have done with
all this: though I '_doted upon folly_,' yet I was terrified at the
thoughts of any thing worse. The idea of a divorce, the public brand of a
shameful life, shocked me in spite of all my real and all my assumed
levity. O that I had, at this instant, dared to _be myself_! But my fear
of ridicule was greater than my fear of vice. 'Bless me, my dear Lady
Delacour,' whispered Harriot, as we left this house, 'what can make you in
such a desperate hurry to get home? You gape and fidget: one would think
you had never sat up a night before in your life. I verily believe you are
afraid to trust yourself with us. Which of us are you afraid of, Lawless,
or me, or _yourself_?' There was a tone of contempt in the last words
which piqued me to the quick; and however strange it may seem, I was now
anxious only to convince Harriot that I was not afraid of myself. False
shame made me act as if I had no shame. You would not suspect me of
knowing any thing of false shame, but depend upon it, my dear, many, who
appear to have as much assurance as I have, are secretly its slaves. I
moralize, because I am come to a part of my story which I should almost be
glad to omit; but I promised you that there should be no sins of omission.
It was light, but not broad daylight, when we got to Knightsbridge.
Lawless, encouraged (for I cannot deny it) by the levity of my manner, as
well as of Harriot's, was in higher and more familiar spirits than I ever
saw him. Mrs. Freke desired me to set her down at her sister's, who lived
in Grosvenor-place: I did so, and I beg you to believe that I was in an
agony, to get rid of my colonel at the same time; but you know I could
not, before Harriot Freke, absolutely say to him, 'Get out!' Indeed, to