mismanaged her business most strangely: she had, indeed, spread a report
of a duel--a female duel; but the untutored sense of propriety amongst
these rustics was so shocked at the idea of a duel fought by women in
_men's clothes_, that I verily believe they would have thrown us into the
river with all their hearts. Stupid blockheads! I am convinced that they
would not have been half so much scandalized if we had boxed in
petticoats. The want of these petticoats had nearly proved our
destruction, or at least our disgrace: a peeress after being ducked, could
never have held her head above water again with any grace. The mob had
just closed round us, crying, 'Shame! shame! shame!--duck 'em--duck
'em--gentle or simple--duck 'em--duck 'em'--when their attention was
suddenly turned towards a person who was driving up the lane a large herd
of squeaking, grunting pigs. The person was clad in splendid regimentals,
and he was armed with a long pole, to the end of which hung a bladder, and
his pigs were frightened, and they ran squeaking from one side of the road
to the other; and the pig-driver in regimentals, in the midst of the
noise, could not without difficulty make his voice heard; but at last he
was understood to say, that a bet of a hundred guineas depended upon his
being able to keep these pigs ahead of a flock of turkeys that were
following them; and he begged the mob to give him and his pigs fair play.
At the news of this wager, and at the sight of the gentleman turned
pig-driver, the mob were in raptures; and at the sound of his voice,
Harriot Freke immediately exclaimed, 'Clarence Hervey! by all that's
lucky!'"

"Clarence Hervey!" interrupted Belinda. "Clarence Hervey, my dear," said
Lady Delacour, coolly: "he can do every thing, you know, even drive pigs,
better than any body else!--but let me go on.

"Harriot Freke shouted in a stentorian voice, which actually made your