I understand you.

When I reflect on the wondrous happiness we might enjoy, while mutually
exerting ourselves in the general cause of virtue, I confess the
thought of renouncing so much bliss, or rather such a duty to myself
and the world, is excruciating torture.

Your idea of living for the cause of virtue delights me; it is in full
concord with my own. But whether that great cause would best be
promoted by our union, or not, is a question which we are incapable of
determining: though I think probabilities are for the negative. Facts
and observation have given me reason to believe that the too easy
gratification of our desires is pernicious to mind; and that it
acquires vigour and elasticity from opposition.

And would you then upon principle, madam, marry a man whom you must
despise?

No, not despise. If indeed I were all I could wish to be, I am
persuaded I should despise no one. I should endeavour to instruct the
ignorant, and reform the erroneous. However, I will tell you what sort
of a man I should wish to marry. First he must be a person of whom no
prejudice, no mistake of any kind, should induce the world, that is,
the persons nearest and most connected with me in the world, to think
meanly--Shall I be cited by the thoughtless, the simple, and the
perverse, in justification of their own improper conduct?--You cannot
wish it, Frank!--Nor is this the most alarming fear--My friends!--My
relations!--My father!--To incur a father's reproach for having
dishonoured his family were fearful: but to meet, to merit, to live
under his curse!--God of heaven forbid!