other calamities mentioned in the litany."

_Sir Gander_. "Describe him to me, if you know him so well."

_Fox_. "He is tall, dark, slender, and quiet in manner."

_Sir Gander_. "My dear fellow he is short, fat, light, and noisy. I am
convinced that you know him. Permit me to pay your bill, lend you money,
and tell you all about our dear JACK'S intended marriage." (_He pays,
lends, and narrates accordingly. A terrific rattling of dishpans
simulates the arrival of a train. Sir_ GANDER _departs and_ JACK GOSLING
_enters._)

_Fox_. "My dear JACK, allow me to embrace you."

_Jack_. "I don't know you. I'm not my father."

_Fox_. "But I am your father's dearest friend. Sit down and have a
bottle of wine, and tell me all about ROSE MANDRAKE, your intends bride.
'Rose! Rose! the coal black Rose!' as MILTON finely remarks." (_They sit
down and_ JACK _immediately gets very drunk, thereby affording another
proof of the horribly adulterated condition of the liquor used on the
stage, which infallibly intoxicates an actor within two minutes after it
is imbibed. [Let the Excise authorities see to this matter.] Finally_
JACK _falls, and the curtain immediately follows his example.)

Critical Young Man, who reads all the theatrical "notices" in the Herald
in the leisure moments when he is not selling yards of tape and ribbon_.
"I don't think much of CLARKE. He ain't half the man that NED FORREST
is. There ain't a bit of spontanatious humor in him. Them San Francisco