There is shortly to arrive in Paris a dwarf aged about fifty-five years,
having a beard reaching to his feet, but with only one arm and a
completely bald head. He possesses 2,000,000 francs, which he is willing
to share with any young girl about twenty years old, who is pretty and
good tempered.

The person above alluded is, unquestionably, our eldest son, Mr.
PUNCHINELLO, Jr. He is--we say it with many tears--as great a rascal as
any in the world, although no child was ever flogged more regularly and
affectionately. His conduct broke his mother's head; and he was put
under bonds to keep the peace at the age of two years. After a long
period of flagrant insubordination, he ran away with a part of our
money, and of his plunder he may possibly have 2,000,000 francs
left--but we don't believe it. This is to warn all tradesmen in Paris
from trusting him on our account, as we shall pay no debts of his
contracting.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW PLEA FOR MURDER

MAN WITH REVOLVER. "OF COURSE I'VE KILLED HIM, BUT IT'S NO MURDER, FOR
I'M INSANE. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, THERE'S MY MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE!"]

* * * * *

CONDENSED CONGRESS.

SENATE.