Fifth. Of course you carry a cane--a very ponderous cane. What for? To use
it, obviously. Contrive to do so when every body is silent. What's the use
in being demonstrative in a crowd? It don't pay. Besides, you dog, you know
your _forte_ is in being odd. Odd fellow-you. See it in your
brain--only half of one. Make a point to bring down your cane when there is
none, (point, not cane,) and shout out "Good!" or "Bravo!" when you have
reason to believe other people are going to be quiet.

Sixth. Never go in till after a play begins, and invariably leave in the
middle of an act, and in the most engaging scene.

These are but a few hints. However, I trust they are good as far as they
go. I may send you a half-dozen more. In the mean time I remain

Yours, truly,

O. FOGY.

* * * * *

[Illustration]


PROSPECTUS,


It shall be our highest ambition to realize our own wishes and to fulfil
our own predictions.

Our principles are moral to--the last degree.