Gogol's expression! ... I come back to my story. In the course of that
day I assured myself again that I was the most blissful of mortals. I
drove out of the town to Ivan Semyonitch's. He received me very
gleefully; he had been meaning to go and see a neighbour, but I myself
stopped him. I was afraid to be left alone with Varia. The evening was
cheerful, but not reassuring. Varia was neither one thing nor the
other, neither cordial nor melancholy ... neither pretty nor plain. I
looked at her, as the philosophers say, objectively--that is to say, as
the man who has dined looks at the dishes. I thought her hands were
rather red. Sometimes, however, my heart warmed, and watching her I
gave way to other dreams and reveries. I had only just made her an
offer, as it is called, and here I was already feeling as though we
were living as husband and wife ... as though our souls already made up
one lovely whole, belonged to one another, and consequently were trying
each to seek out a separate path for itself....

'Well, have you spoken to papa?' Varia said to me, as soon as we were
left alone.

This inquiry impressed me most disagreeably.... I thought to myself,
'You're pleased to be in a desperate hurry, Varvara Ivanovna.'

'Not yet,' I answered, rather shortly, 'but I will speak to him.'

Altogether I behaved rather casually with her. In spite of my promise,
I said nothing definite to Ivan Semyonitch. As I was leaving, I pressed
his hand significantly, and informed him that I wanted to have a little
talk with him ... that was all.... 'Good-bye!' I said to Varia.

'Till we meet!' said she.