shined up slicker 'n a new tin whistle. Wall
when I got up in the mornin' my trubbles
commenced. I wuz so crouded up like,
durned if I could git my clothes on, and when
I did git em on durned if my pants wa'nt on
hind side afore, and my socks got all tangled
up in that little fish net along side of the
bed and I couldn't git em out, and I lost a
bran new collar button that I traded Si Pettingill
a huskin' peg fer, and I got my right
boot on my left foot and the left one on the
right foot, and I wuz so durned badly mixed
up I didn't know which way the train wuz a
runnin', and I bumped my head on the roof
of the bed over me, and then sot down right
suddin like to think it over when some feller
cum along and stepped right squar on my
bunion and I let out a war whoop you could
a heerd over in the next county. Wall, along
cum that durned porter and told me I wuz
a wakin' up everybody in the keer. Then I
started in to hunt fer my collar button, cause
I sot a right smart store by that button, thar
warns another one like it in Punkin Centre,
and I thought it would be kind of doubtful
if they'd have any like it in New York, wall
I see one stuck right in the wall so I tried to
git it out with my jack knife, when along
came that durned black jumpin' jack dressed
in soldier clothes and ast me what I wanted,