noy song oowe pelecee, pelecee, pelecee.
I had quite a time with that heathen critter.



Uncle Josh in a Museum

WHEN I wuz in New York one day I wuz a walkin'
along down the street when I cum to a theater
or play doins' of some kind or other, so I got
to lookin' at the picters, and I noticed whar
it sed it only cost ten cents to go in, and
I alowed I might as well go in and see
it. Wall I don't spose I'd bin in thar
over five minutes afore I made myself
the laffin' stock of every one in thar. I
noticed a feller a sottin' thar gittin' his boots
blacked, and thar was a durned little pick
pockit a pickin' his pockits. Wall I didn't
want to see him git robbed, so I went right
up to him and I sed--look out mister, you
air gittin' your pockits picked, wall sir, that
durned cuss never sed a word and every
body commenced to laff, and I looked round
to see what they wuz a laffin' at, and it wan't
no man at all, nothin' only a durned old wax
figger. I never felt so durned foolish since
the day I popped the question to Samantha.
Wall then I looked round a spell longer, and
thar wuz a feller what they called the human