you're a sotten on is a little fresher; they
painted it about ten minnits ago." Wall, I
got up and looked, and durned if he wasn't right.



Uncle Josh and the Fire Department

ONE day in New York, I thot I'd rite a letter
home. Wall after I'd got it all writ, I sed to
the landlord of the tavern--now, whar abouts
in New York do you keep the post offis? And
he sed, "what do you want with the post
offis?" So I told him I'd jist writ a letter
home to mother and Samantha Ann, and
I'd like to go to the post offis and mail
it. And he told me "you don't have to
go to the post offis, do you see that little
box on the post thar on the corner?" I
alowed as how I did. Wall he says, "You
jist go out thar and put your letter in that
box, and it will go right to the post offis."
I sed--wall now, gee whiz, ain't that handy.
Wall I went out thar, and I had a good deal
of trouble in gittin' the box open, and when
I did git it open, thar wan't any place to put
my letter, thar wuz a lot of notes and hooks
and hinges, and a lot of readin,' it sed--
"pull on the hook twice and turn the knob,"
or somethin, like that, I couldn't jist rightly