your "goin' at thirty make it thirty-five,
once, twice, three times a goin'", and he
sed "wall now what's the matter with you?"
And I sed, there's matter enuff, by gosh;
when I cum in here I had a pockit book in
my pockit, had fifty dollars in it, and I lost
it somewhars round here; I wish you'd say
to the feller what found it that I'll give five
dollars fer it; another feller sed "make it
ten," another sed "give you twenty," and
another sed "go you twenty-five."

Durned if I know which one of 'em got
it; when I left they wuz still a biddin' on it.

----
Advice--Advice is somethin' the other feller can't
use, so he gives it to you.
--Punkin Centre Philosophy.



Uncle Josh on a Fifth Ave. 'Bus

I WUZ always sort of fond of ridin', so I
guess while I wuz down in New York I rode on
about everything they've got to ride on thar.
I wuz on hoss cars and hot air cars, and
them sky light elevated roads. Wall, I
had jist about cum to the conclushun that