--Punkin Centre Philosophy



Uncle Josh in a Department Store

ONE day while I wuz in New York I sed to a
feller, now whar kin I find one of them
stores whar they hav purty near everything
to sell what thar is on earth, and he sed "I
guess you mean a department store, don't you?"
I sed, wall I don't know bout that; they
may sell departments at one of them stores,
but what I want to git is some muzlin
and some caliker. Wall he showed me
which way to go, and I started out, and
wuz walkin' along down the street lookin'
at things, when some feller throwed
a bananer peelin' on the sidewalk. Wall
now I don't think much of a man what
throws a bananer peelin' on the sidewalk,
and I don't think much of a bananer
what throws a man on the sidewalk,
neether. Wall, by chowder, my foot hit
that bananer peelin' and I went up in the
air, and cum down ker-plunk, and fer about
a minnit I seen all the stars what stronomy
tells about, and some that haint been discovered
yit. Wall jist as I wuz pickin' myself
up a little boy cum runnin' cross the street