NOW I'll jist bet I had more fun to the squar
inch while I wuz in New York, than any old feller
what ever broke out of a New England smoke house.
I had a little the durnd'st time a ridin' on
them street cars what they got thar. Wall I
wa'nt a ridin' on 'emnear as much as I wuz a runnin'
after 'em tryin' to ketch 'em. Gosh, I wuz
a runnin' after street cars and fire ingines,
and every durned thing with red wheels on
it, I calculate I run about a mile and a half
after a feller one day to tell him the water
what he had in his wagon wuz all leakin'
out, and when I caught up to him I found
out it wuz a durned old sprinklin' cart.

Wall I got on one of them street cars one
day, and it wuz purty crowded, and thar
wa'nt any place fer me to sot down, so I had
to hang onto one of them little harness straps
along side of the car. So I got holt of a
strap and I wuz hangin' on, when the conductor
sed "old man, you'r goin' to be in
the road thar, you'd better move up a little
further, wall I moved up a little ways and I
stepped on a feller's toe, and gee whiz, he
got madder'n a wet hen, he sed, 'can't you
see whar you'r a steppin'?" I sed, "guess
I kin, but you brought them feet in here,
and I've got to step some whar." Wall