The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
page 38 of 302 (12%)
page 38 of 302 (12%)
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It made me with a thousand blushes burn
Replied -- his manner with disdain was spiced: "What! I a Christian? No, indeed! I'm Christ." G.J. CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. CLAIRVOYANT, n. A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. CLARIONET, n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet -- two clarionets. CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones. CLIO, n. One of the nine Muses. Clio's function was to preside over history -- which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and other popular speakers. CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him. A busy man complained one day: |
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