himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from
everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the
affairs of others.

Said a man to a crapulent youth: "I thought
You a total abstainer, my son."
"So I am, so I am," said the scapegrace caught --
"But not, sir, a bigoted one."

G.J.


ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with
one's own opinion.

ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were
taught.

ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is
taught.

ACCIDENT, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable
natural laws.

ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty
knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal,
knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the
matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one
having offered them a fee for assenting.