slightest ailment, a doctor must be sent for. Alas! her own ailments,
neglected and unheeded, were growing beyond the reach of medicine.
Anxious fearful--gnawed by regret for the past--the thought of famine in
the future--she daily fretted and wore herself away. She had cultivated
her mind during her secluded residence with Mr. Beaufort, but she had
learned none of the arts by which decayed gentlewomen keep the wolf from
the door; no little holiday accomplishments, which, in the day of need
turn to useful trade; no water-colour drawings, no paintings on velvet,
no fabrications of pretty gewgaws, no embroidery and fine needlework.
She was helpless--utterly helpless; if she had resigned herself to the
thought of service, she would not have had the physical strength for a
place of drudgery, and where could she have found the testimonials
necessary for a place of trust? A great change, at this time, was
apparent in Philip. Had he fallen, then, into kind hands, and under
guiding eyes, his passions and energies might have ripened into rare
qualities and great virtues. But perhaps as Goethe has somewhere said,
"Experience, after all, is the best teacher." He kept a constant guard
on his vehement temper--his wayward will; he would not have vexed his
mother for the world. But, strange to say (it was a great mystery in the
woman's heart), in proportion as he became more amiable, it seemed that
his mother loved him less. Perhaps she did not, in that change,
recognise so closely the darling of the old time; perhaps the very
weaknesses and importunities of Sidney, the hourly sacrifices the child
entailed upon her, endeared the younger son more to her from that natural
sense of dependence and protection which forms the great bond between
mother and child; perhaps too, as Philip had been one to inspire as much
pride as affection, so the pride faded away with the expectations that
had fed it, and carried off in its decay some of the affection that was
intertwined with it. However this be, Philip had formerly appeared the
more spoiled and favoured of the two: and now Sidney seemed all in all.