fine in the mess at Woolwich. That is, if you don't mind, Mr. Zigler.'

"'Go right ahead,' I says. 'I've come out of all the mess I've any use
for; but she'll do to spread the light among the Royal British Artillery.'

"I tell you, Sir, there's not much of anything the matter with the Royal
British Artillery. They're brainy men languishing under an effete system
which, when you take good holt of it, is England--just all England. 'Times
I'd feel I was talking with real live citizens, and times I'd feel I'd
struck the Beef Eaters in the Tower.

"How? Well, this way. I was telling my Captain Mankeltow what Van Zyl had
said about the British being all Chamberlains when the old man saw him
back from hospital four days ahead of time.

"'Oh, damn it all!' he says, as serious as the Supreme Court. 'It's too
bad,' he says. 'Johanna must have misunderstood me, or else I've got the
wrong Dutch word for these blarsted days of the week. I told Johanna I'd
be out on Friday. The woman's a fool. Oah, da-am it all!' he says. 'I
wouldn't have sold old Van Zyl a pup like that,' he says. 'I'll hunt him
up and apologise.'

"He must have fixed it all right, for when we sailed over to the General's
dinner my Captain had Van Zyl about half-full of sherry and bitters, as
happy as a clam. The boys all called him Adrian, and treated him like
their prodigal father. He'd been hit on the collarbone by a wad of
shrapnel, and his arm was tied up.

"But the General was the peach. I presume you're acquainted with the
average run of British generals, but this was my first. I sat on his left