If all the world's a stage, what are cars? I admit that all Broadway is
a stage, but is it at all probable that GOV. HOFFMAN vetoed the Arcade
railroad bill on that account? Besides, if all the world's a stage, why
should the men who carry passengers care about the duty on steel rails?

Is it true that a man must not laugh at his own jokes? Don't you suppose
that the man who invented the _canard_ about the Jews in Roumania is
laughing at the squabble which he has raised between the Associated
Press and the American Press Association, by means of his little joke?
And don't you suppose, when the returns of the last election came in,
that Mr. TWEED laughed very vigorously at his little joke, called the
new election law? If Congress should keep on joking for the rest of the
session, and, as a result, the Republican party should be turned out of
power, don't you suppose that the members will laugh--on the other side
of their mouths?

There is a certain saying, which everybody retails, about the kind of
people who tell the truth. Now I always tell the truth. I'm exactly like
GEORGE WASHINGTON. If I had cut down the cherry tree, and my stern
parent had appeared upon the scene with a rawhide and asked me who did
it, I should have instantly replied, the hatchet. But I am not a child.
Can it be that I am the other thing?

Now, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, can you do those sums? I have tried them in every
possible way. I have let X equal the unknown quantity, but I don't know
Y. If you can solve the problems, will you send me the answers by the
first post?

Yours,