and feather you like a Yankee teacher, and then burn you like a
freedman's church."

"Oh!--if you only had me _there_, you'd do so," cries EDWIN DROOD,
springing to his feet as the umbrella tortures his ribs. "_If_, eh?
Pooh, pooh, my young fellow, I perceive that you are a mere Cincinnati
Editor."

The degrading epithet goads PENDRAGON to fury, and, after throwing his
remaining lemon tea about equally upon EDWIN and the sun-bonnet, he
extracts the sugar from the bottom of the glass with his fingers, and
uses the goblet to ward off a last approach of the umbrella.

"EDWINS! MONTGOMERIES!" exclaims Mr. BUMSTEAD, opening the umbrella
between them so suddenly that each is grazed on the nose by a whalebone
rib, "I command you to end this Congressional debate at once. I never
saw four such young men before! MONTGOMERIES, put up your penknife
thizinstant!"

Pushing aside the barrier of alpaca and whalebone from under his chin,
MONTGOMERY dashes wildly from the house, tears madly back to Gospeler's
Gulch, and astounds the Gospeler by his appearance.

"Oh, Mr. SIMPSON," he cries, as he is conducted to the door of his own
room, "I believe that I, too, inherit some tigerish qualities from that
tiger my father is said to have fought so often. I've had a political
discussion with Mr. DROOD in Mr. BUMSTEAD'S apartments, and, if I'd
stayed there a moment longer, I reckon I should have murdered somebody
in a moment of Emotional Insanity."