years, you were the acknowledged victor; but that I knew your unlimited
compassion, I would not, though a bold man, have dared to ask so much.

Yet, I have reason for my request. For, if Philadelphia be rectangular,
Washington has greater claims, seeing that she is scalene, crooked,
trapezoidal, and, in general terms, catacornered. If Philadelphia be
legislature-ridden, Washington is Congress-burdened. It Philadelphia
suffers under an infliction of horse-railroads and white wooden
shutters, Washington groans under the pangs and pains of unmitigated
CHRONICLE!

This last is our greatest grievance. Fortunately for you, dear P., you
know not what it is to be Congress-burdened, _but we do._ Alas! too
well. It means mud and dust; it means unpaved streets pervaded by
perambulating pigs and contemplative cows, and rendered still more rural
in its aspect by the gambolings of frolicsome kids around grave goats.
It means an empty treasury, high rents, extraordinary taxes, and poor
grub. In short, it means WRETCHEDNESS. But to be "Chronicled"--

"----_That_ way Madness lies"

In this connection, dear PUNCHINELLO, let me hasten to disclaim any
intention of abusing or "pitching into" the renowned "Editor of Two
Newspapers, Both Daily." Everybody has been doing that for the past five
or six years, and I do not wish to be vulgar. Besides, to do the
gentleman justice, we do not think he is to blame for much of our
misery; as he confines his editorial connection with our incubus to
writing a weekly letter to the Press, and publishing it in both dailies.
At the same time we do wish that he would, out of compassion for our
suffering souls, exercise a little supervision over the small boys whom