The inferiority of the East, in matters of this kind, may be justly and
satisfactorily inferred from the fact that in Philadelphia, lately, they
attempted to execute their dogs with carbonic acid gas. When the box or
tub was opened, the irrepressible spirits of the animals confined
therein were perceived to be at the topmost heights of jollity, and the
police were obliged to go back to first principles and shoot the
exhilarated curs.

* * * * *

DRAINAGE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.

It is generally known to the world that Chicago needs draining. In order
that it may be drained, Mr. Sanitary Superintendent RAUCH has made a
report which is extremely figurative and which quite bristles with the
nine digits. Mr. PUNCHINELLO has read it until perfectly bewildered by
the intricacy of the computations; but what he does understand is that
if Chicago be not drained immediately, the amiable cholera may be
expected to put in an early appearance. Mr. Superintendent RAUCH prints
an aggravating table to show, by multiplication, addition, subtraction,
division, and the rule of three, that if you don't drain you will have
cholera, while if you do drain you will escape it. Under the
circumstances, we should advise Chicago to drain.

* * * * *

"LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE."

A resolution has been introduced into one of the Southern Legislatures,
that any member sleeping during service hours shall forfeit his per