The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott (Francis Scott) Fitzgerald
page 64 of 533 (12%)
page 64 of 533 (12%)
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backbone of the day should be broken, when he should have met the girl
at last, talked to her, and then bowed her laughter out the door, returning only to the melancholy dregs in the teacups and the gathering staleness of the uneaten sandwiches. There was a growing lack of color in Anthony's days. He felt it constantly and sometimes traced it to a talk he had had with Maury Noble a month before. That anything so ingenuous, so priggish, as a sense of waste should oppress him was absurd, but there was no denying the fact that some unwelcome survival of a fetish had drawn him three weeks before down to the public library, where, by the token of Richard Caramel's card, he had drawn out half a dozen books on the Italian Renaissance. That these books were still piled on his desk in the original order of carriage, that they were daily increasing his liabilities by twelve cents, was no mitigation of their testimony. They were cloth and morocco witnesses to the fact of his defection. Anthony had had several hours of acute and startling panic. In justification of his manner of living there was first, of course, The Meaninglessness of Life. As aides and ministers, pages and squires, butlers and lackeys to this great Khan there were a thousand books glowing on his shelves, there was his apartment and all the money that was to be his when the old man up the river should choke on his last morality. From a world fraught with the menace of debutantes and the stupidity of many Geraldines he was thankfully delivered--rather should he emulate the feline immobility of Maury and wear proudly the culminative wisdom of the numbered generations. Over and against these things was something which his brain persistently analyzed and dealt with as a tiresome complex but which, though |
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