NAPOLEON, a little Frenchman who wore a big hat, a little curl
on his forehead, and whose ambitions were larger than his good
luck. Started life by placing Corsica on the map. Like all
great men, he was the dunce at school. Later he used his
masters and prize-winning chums as first-row soldiers. Entered
the army. Never succeeded as a sentry. Frequently amused
himself by taking a couple of soldiers and capturing a city or
an army between meals. The politicians in Paris saw the young
man was not without talents. They gave him a few more soldiers.
Then he went after countries. Captured Egypt, but had trouble
with one Nelson of England. N. became unpopular with his
neighbors. They all attacked him. He attacked them all. That
settled it. He ate wars. After the powers were powerless N.
scampered about Europe adding countries to France. He devoured
Germany. Went after Russia, but they made it too hot and too
cold for him. Had more trouble with that man Nelson. Became
rich and divorced. Introduced Roosevelt publicity tactics into
France and carried a third term. Started things. Began
quarreling again. At last he was cooped up in Paris, and flew
the white flag. Visited Elba. Revisited France. Started
things again. Took some veterans to Belgium. There he was met
by another Englishman by the name of Wellington who introduced
him to Waterloo. For his kindness in leaving Europe England
presented N. with a whole island, a complementary guard, and
paid all his living expenses for six years. Later N. became
responsible for one of the sights of Paris. Always carried his
right hand in the front of his coat. Ambition: A French
Nelson, England, and progeny. Recreation: Walking along the
shore. Address: Fontainbleau, Europe, and At Sea. Epitaph:
I Desire That My Ashes Shall Rest On The Banks Of The Seine