it would make you feel awkward. Thank you, and forgive me for Christ's
sake!'

'Give me your blessing.'

'God bless you! Forgive me for Christ's sake!'

He rose, but she would not let him go until she had given him bread and
butter and rusks. He took it all and went away.

It was dark, and before he had passed the second house he was lost to
sight. She only knew he was there because the dog at the priest's house
was barking.

'So that is what my dream meant! Pashenka is what I ought to have been
but failed to be. I lived for men on the pretext of living for God,
while she lived for God imagining that she lives for men. Yes, one good
deed--a cup of water given without thought of reward--is worth more
than any benefit I imagined I was bestowing on people. But after all was
there not some share of sincere desire to serve God?' he asked himself,
and the answer was: 'Yes, there was, but it was all soiled and overgrown
by desire for human praise. Yes, there is no God for the man who lives,
as I did, for human praise. I will now seek Him!'

And he walked from village to village as he had done on his way to
Pashenka, meeting and parting from other pilgrims, men and women, and
asking for bread and a night's rest in Christ's name. Occasionally some
angry housewife scolded him, or a drunken peasant reviled him, but for
the most part he was given food and drink and even something to take
with him. His noble bearing disposed some people in his favour, while