_Items_.--The recent unpleasantness between HUGH HASTINGS and THEODORE
TILTON has culminated in a duel with howitzers, in which the former had
his head carried away, and the latter had both legs shot off.

The fact has leaked out, that the recently reported BEETHOVEN Centennial
Jubilee was a myth. There is no such building in New York as was
described, and no concerts have taken place. The reports in the local
papers were written by unscrupulous Bohemians in the pay of the
musicians whom they puffed.

The New York police are notoriously inefficient. They are generally to
be found lying drunk across the sidewalk, and 623 carriages are sent
around every evening to gather them up.

HORACE GREELEY has joined the Red Stocking Base Ball Nine.

* * * * *

A NOTE FROM THE ORCHESTRA.

I am a musician. I constitute one twenty-fourth of the orchestra at
BOOTH'S. I nightly blow the drum. Thus much by way of introduction to
the dear public, whose devoted servant I am, preliminary to a recital of
my woes. Whoever has been inside the theatre named has probably noticed
the peculiar construction, or rather location, of the enclosure wherein
we manipulators of melody are penned up. I know not what cause or
provocation the architect of BOOTH'S Theatre may have had, but certain
it is that he entertains a horrible spite against musicians. He may have
been distracted by diabolical hand-organs, or driven wild by bungling
buglists, but why should he include worthy and unoffending artists in