will be no other man's while he is single, and gives me not wilful and
premeditated cause of offence against him; and this in order to rein-in
his resentment on the declared animosity of my brother and uncles to him.
And as I shall appeal, or refer my scruples on this head, to the good Dr.
Lewen, it is impossible but that my mother and aunt (if nobody else) must
be affected with this plea.'

Revolving cursorily these things, I congratulated myself, that I had
resolved against going away with Mr. Lovelace.

I told you, my dear, that I would not spare myself: and I enumerate these
particulars as so many arguments to condemn the actions I have been so
unhappily betrayed into. An argument that concludes against me with the
greater force, as I must acknowledge, that I was apprehensive, that what
my cousin Dolly mentions as from Betty, and from my sister who told her,
that she should tell me, in order to make me desperate, and perhaps to
push me upon some such step as I have been driven to take, as the most
effectual means to ruin me with my father and uncles.

God forgive me, if I judge too harshly of their views!--But if I do not,
it follows, that they laid a wicked snare for me; and that I have been
caught in it.--And now they triumph, if they can triumph, in the ruin of
a sister, who never wished or intended to hurt them!

As the above kind of reasoning had lessened my apprehensions as to the
Wednesday, it added to those I had of meeting Mr. Lovelace--now, as it
seemed, not only the nearest, but the heaviest evil; principally indeed
because nearest; for little did I dream (foolish creature that I was, and
every way beset!) of the event proving what it has proved. I expected a
contention with him, 'tis true, as he had not my letter: but I thought it