to the chariot: where, attending, were two armed servants of his own, and
two of Lord M.'s on horseback.

Here I must suspend my relation for a while: for now I am come to this
sad period of it, my indiscretion stares me in the face; and my shame and
my grief give me a compunction that is more poignant methinks than if I
had a dagger in my heart. To have it to reflect, that I should so
inconsiderately give in to an interview, which, had I known either myself
or him, or in the least considered the circumstances of the case, I might
have supposed would put me into the power of his resolution, and out of
that of my own reason.

For, might I not have believed, that he, who thought he had cause to
apprehend that he was on the point of losing a person who had cost him so
much pains and trouble, would not hinder her, if possible, from
returning? That he, who knew I had promised to give him up for ever, if
insisted as a condition of reconciliation, would not endeavour to put it
out of my power to do so? In short, that he, who had artfully forborne
to send for my letter, (for he could not be watched, my dear,) lest he
should find in it a countermand to my appointment, (as I myself could
apprehend, although I profited by the apprehension,) would want a device
to keep me with him till the danger of having our meeting discovered
might throw me absolutely into his power, to avoid my own worse usage,
and the mischiefs which might have ensued (perhaps in my very sight) had
my friends and he met?

But if it shall come out, that the person within the garden was his
corrupted implement, employed to frighten me away with him, do you think,
my dear, that I shall not have reason to hate him and myself still more?
I hope his heart cannot be so deep and so vile a one: I hope it cannot!