And though he never used a gun,
He knew the use of _powder_!

He never took offence at words,
However broad or blunt;
But when maids brought a _front_ to dress,
Of course he took a _front_!

Beneath his razor folks have slept,
So easy were they mown;
Yet (oh! most passing strange it was!)
His _razor_ was his _own_!

Nick doubtless had a tender heart,
But not for Nelly Jones;
He made Miss Popps "bone of his bone,"
But never made old bones!

He died and left an only son,
A barber too by trade;
But when they ope'd his will, they found
A cruel will he'd made.

And doubtless he was raving mad,
(To slander I'm unwilling)
For tho' a _barber_, Nicky cut
His _heir_ off with _a shilling!_

_Absurdities: in Prose and Verse_._