"Street pavements were laid on 5th avenoo, which the wind took up, and
the air smelt like a mixture of cold tar and Scotch snuff.

"Bulls and Bears of Wall street had a day of Egypshun darkness; it was
called Black Friday.

"'Shoo-fly' was sung in our nashunal Councils.

"Banks were robbed, and Judges went snucks with the robbers.

"Men got on fits of temper-ary insanity and clubbed their wives over the
head or popped off editors with a 6 shooter.

"Virtous and respectable ladies were Spencerized in the Halls of
Gustise, and the 12 temptashuns was drawin' crowded houses."

"See here, old man," sed I, "hain't you pilin' on the agony rather too
thick?"

"Facts, Squire," sed he, "trooth is stronger than frickshun."

"About these times," he continered, "things was becomin' slitely mixed.

"The different tribes cooden't suck cider through the same straw any
more.

"There was a confusion of tongues and a mixin' of contracts. The great
Sachem and the Young Democracy had each other by the ear, while the Big
Injun was bound to scratch his assailers bald headed.