When by Britons soft-soaped, he's delighted to lave
In the lather that's only laid on for a shave.

When to Downing street called, with a bow and a scrape
He accepts, in the place of hard dollars, red tape.

When a guest at the table of London's Lord Mayor,
He Tables our Claim while addressing the Chair.

And whenever he mingles with transmarine nobs
He is always the PRINCE OF AMERICAN SNOBS.

* * * * *

"SWALLOW, SWALLOW," ETC.

THE inevitable "enormous gooseberry" of the provincial newspaper "local"
has made its appearance. It is smaller than usual, being only three
inches in circumference; but that is a great advantage to persons
desirous of swallowing it.

* * * * *

TO WHOM IT MAY BE INTERESTING.

AMONG the Japanese students in Rutger's College, there is one who revels
in the very suggestive name of HASHI-GUTCHI. Keepers of cheap
boarding-houses are warned against harboring that young man.