feelings, we are interfering with the orderly working of the child's
mind. We force children to act in ways unrelated to their thoughts
and feelings, and as a result we have many men and women of fine
sentiment and lofty thought who never let their ideas and sentiments
find expression in effective action. In other words, the effect upon
the mind of "thoughtless minding" is not a healthy one.

A large amount of disobedience arises from the fact that the child's
attention and interest are so different from an adult's. The little
girl who is said to have given her name as "Mary Don't" illustrates
this. Mary does a great many things in the course of a day, impelled
by curiosity and the instinct to handle things. Most of her
activities are harmless; but when she touches something that you
care about, you command her to let it alone. This is quite proper.
Very often, however, she is told to stop doing things that are quite
indifferent, and that satisfy her natural craving for activity
without being in the least harmful. Being interfered with
constantly, she soon comes to consider all orders arbitrary and--
disobedience results.

The other side of the problem is seen when a child is told to do
something when he is preoccupied with his own affairs. You may tell
him a second time; very likely you raise your voice. The third time
you fairly shout. This is undignified and it is also unnecessary.
For Bobby has _heard_ the order from the first; but he has not
_attended_ to your wishes. In such cases there is no primary
disobedience; but a frequent repetition of such incidents can easily
lead Bobby to become quite indifferent to your orders; then
disobedience is habitual. The child that has acquired the habit of
ignoring the mother's wishes will not suddenly begin to obey orders