that he is making a choice. You may say to Johnnie, "Go and get me a
pail of water." Or you may say, "Johnnie, please get me a pail of
water." Or you may say, "Johnnie, mother needs a pail of water." You
will perhaps get just as good service in one case as in another; but
the ultimate effect on Johnnie may make the difference between a man
who finds work a necessary evil and one who finds work a means of
service.

From men who have been successful in managing industries and from
women who have managed large households with the least amount of
friction we can learn that there is a way of obtaining obedience
without imposing upon the minds of those under our authority. Whenever
you wish to depart from the usual routine, there is a good reason for
the change, and in most cases the reason can be stated with the
request. When this is done the order loses the appearance of
arbitrariness. If you say to Mary, "I wish you would go out without me
this afternoon, as I have some important sewing to finish," you will
most likely meet with ready acquiescence. If, however, you say, "You
must go alone this afternoon, I can't go with you," and if when Mary
dares ask "Why?" you say, "Because I tell you to," you will certainly
sow the seeds of rebellion. No self-respecting child will accept such
a reason. If at least you make an appeal to your superior judgment,
and say, "Mother knows best," there would be something gained. For now
you are shifting the basis of the child's conduct from your position
of power over her to the highest authority within our reach, namely,
good judgment. The child is thus learning to obey not a _person_, but
a _principle_.

Expressing your wishes in the form of a request, modified wherever
possible by a reason, does not mean that you are to give the child a