Now, your correspondent had remembered Mr. HAWTHORNE'S experience at a
Lord Mayor's dinner, and had begged Mr. PUNCH by all means to let him
off without a speech. But, more worldly-wise than HAWTHORNE, he didn't
believe that Mr. PUNCH would keep his promise; so he had prepared a
speech, beginning, "Not anticipating any occasion to open my lips in
this illustrious company, you must allow me to speak altogether on the
impulse of the moment." (Hear, hear.) So this had to be delivered; but
for the rest of it, and of the dinner, you must wait for my next
telegram. Mr. PUNCH is going to have the speech published in pamphlet
form, for distribution among his numerous constituents. So, now for the
rest of my _news_.

FRANCE.

The PRINCE OF MONACO has declared war against France. OLLIVIER proposes
to send the PRINCE IMPERIAL to extinguish him with a corps of infantry,
armed with popguns; no one to be admitted to the corps who is more than
four years old. MONACO aspires to be a sort of LOPEZ.

TURKEY.

Sultan ABDUL AZIZ has just had a visit from a friend of JOHN BRIGHT'S.
To the surprise of every body, even his most intimate friends, the
Sultan immediately made up his mind to turn Quaker! He came down stairs,
and went into mosque, the other day, with a broad-brimmed hat, straight
coat, and drab trowsers; and insisted on all the ladies of his _hareem_
putting on plain bonnets, and holding a "silent meeting" in the
Seraglio! How it bothered them to do that last thing you may well
suppose! More anon, from PRIME.